Parenting with different disciplines: You only have to be one courageous parent to create new generational patterns

Hi there, love! Being a team when it comes to gentle parenting is amazing. But let’s talk about what happens when you’re into gentle parenting but your partner isn’t. Or maybe you’re a single parent feeling like you’re on an island of calm in a sea of drama. You might worry that it’s all on you—that your kiddos will be damaged if the other parent’s discipline style is more, shall we say, intense. But listen up: you have so much power to shape your child’s experiences, even if you’re not the only grown-up in their world.

First off, if you’re reading this, you care. And that caring? It’s everything. According to Dr. Gabor Maté, a child’s healthy emotional development is deeply rooted in the connections they form with their caregivers. It’s about feeling seen and understood. So whenever you respond with calm empathy, you’re basically creating this little greenhouse of safety for your child’s growing mind—even if there’s another parent occasionally rolling their eyes at “gentle parenting.”

And guess what? Kids are sponges; they soak up how you treat them. When you model respect, patience, and self-awareness, you’re giving them a blueprint for how they can respond to all sorts of emotional things. Dr. Laura Markham, who wrote Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings, emphasizes that when we maintain our cool and empathy, it helps our kids regulate their own feelings, too. So picture this: your child runs into a conflict at your co-parent’s house, but they’ve been practicing your calm techniques at home. Suddenly, they’ve got tools to handle those big, tough feelings—tools they learned from you.

And if you’re single parenting or co-parenting? Just because you’re not under the same roof 24/7 doesn’t mean your child isn’t thriving on your supportive energy. Sometimes, modeling gentler discipline methods actually inspires your ex or partner to shift gears and become more mindful. You do you, and it can ripple outward more than you realize. Of course, it can be incredibly frustrating and even scary when you see behaviour that you connect with negative ways to discipline and raise that is out of your control, but that’s why I’m writing this post — to remind you of the importance and power of you equipping your children with tools they wouldn’t be having if you didn’t exist (if they don’t have another parent who gentle parent so to speak).

“It only takes one courageous parent to create new generational patterns. - Sarah Boyd

Remember, we don’t have to transform the entire world overnight. Even in Montessori (I’m a Montessori homeschooler/parent), the belief is that change starts small—observation by observation, hug by hug, conversation by conversation. And before you know it, you and your little humans are showing everyone that there’s a kinder way to be.

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being courageous enough to keep trying, keep learning, and keep loving—even when it feels like you’re the only one doing it. Trust me, that courage? That’ll spark a whole new pattern for the next generation, just by starting with you. You’ve got this, and your kids are going to carry all that love and gentleness forward, no matter what else is going on around them.

xo Briana