what would your dream birth look like? | how to write a birth plan

I hope you don’t mind that it’s been a little bit silent here on the blog. Being pregnant and settling in as a family of four (and enjoying precious moments) has taken all my time…

What would your dream birth look like?

One of my midwives completely changed my mindset toward giving birth when she shared this question on her Instagram.

The standard prenatal care over here is usually limited to 30 minutes focusing on pretty much nothing else than on the growth of the belly and measuring blood pressure. It really does not impress me now after I’ve had the opportunity to attend & experience prenatal therapy pre baby no. 2.

Questioning what my dream birth would look like together with my prenatal therapist/midwife when I was pregnant with our second child lead me to one of my favorite days in my whole life. Together with having two wonderful caregivers and a husband who deserves at least 500 lifetimes of love for being the best support, I had the most amazing care & birth, and a great postpartum time… I couldn’t have wished for more!

Having someone help you lead your birth should be part of every woman’s experience of prenatal care, because the birth of a mama and baby, is so much more than just letting whatever happen and taking orders from someone with medical expertise without trusting any of your instincts. You’re the life giver, and it is crucial that you need to feel good, supported and respected by your prenatal caregiver throughout pregnancy and birth.

When I was assigned a new midwife for prenatal therapy (it was an important part of healing from the traumatic labor of our first child and helped me power up for another one) I realized how much of my first birth had gone wrong. This amazing woman who also had the expertise of taking care of mommas with the same chronic illness I have (EDS) helped me put together my thoughts on what my dream birth would look like, and it took form as a birth plan.

Writing a birth plan is a great way to mentally prepare for labor and is an amazing tool to help actually looking forward to birthing your baby even if you, like me, have had an earlier traumatic experience.

"Surround yourself with positive thoughts and stories. Think about how you would like to give birth."

So here I'm sharing my tips on how to write a birth plan! I'll leave you with some questions you can answer & then include in the plan. Remember to write your letter based on who you are and what you think you will need as support! And, the most important thing to ask yourself throughout all of this is “What would your dream birth look like?” Really think through how you would like to give birth. Surround yourself with positive thoughts!

  • Is there anything you'd like the midwife/nurses/doctors to know about your previous labor if you've had one?

  • What are your wishes when it comes to pain management? Do you know what medical pain relief you want or do you want help managing without it (if so, how?)

  • Are there any certain medications that you under no circumstances want?

  • How do you react when you are scared/stressed? What is the best way to help you?

  • If an emergency C-section is needed, do you have any wishes surrounding it?

  • Do you have any strong fears that might affect the birth of your child? (ie. needles)

  • Do you have any other requests for this to be your dream birth?
    This one can be a bit tricky if you've never given birth before so I'll give you a couple of examples. It can be wishing for as few vaginal exams as possible. It can be water immersion during the first stage of labor for pain relief (this is gold!!!). Dimmed lights and as quiet as possible in delivery room. No students or interns present. That you want to be covered with a blanket during and after exams. Avoiding vacuum extraction. That you want to help catch the baby. That they remember to keep you hydrated + give you food/snacks as the hours pass by...

And then of course, you might want something totally different when you’re finally in labor, and that’s totally okay. Remember to print your plan out and put it in your hospital bag, and make sure that every new person who enters the room where you deliver read it! <3

Did you ever write a birth plan or are you going to? Have you received guidance + support for your pregnancy & upcoming birth?