the real reason why some people are bad for you

A good relationship is an investment, a bad one is a bill.

My sorting process of relationships has been insanely prominent the last one and a half years and although I wouldn't say my circle necessarily has become smaller, it has definitely been refined and become something more defined as equal commitment, love and respect rather than messy, half-good and "okay, I'll settle for this because this might be as good as it gets".

I've definitely found myself in the wrong & at times really bad contexts so as any other human, I've seen the bad, and obviously lived it. Tried to understand and make sense of it. And most lately - tried to understand what it is that has actually brought me to the point where my current relationships are so fulfilling, healing and loving, in contrast to the mess of relationships I've had.

What is it that actually make some people bad for us? I mean, not all people that are bad for us are actual bad people, right?

Let's simplify something that we tend to make a little complicated.
Drop the "good or bad" label.

The problem is when you shrink.

The problem is when the impact someone has on you keeps you in bad habits and or make you act stupid. When it's suddenly harder to make the right choices. When the addictions you try so hard to leave behind are encouraged. When you play smaller. When you lower your standards, out of fear or out of the intelligence to survive.

All these things will restrain you from all the potential and greatness that is you, that you have and can become. So that being said, it's no longer about them but about your choice of where you want to continue your investments. Investing in a company that would take neither you or that company anywhere would make absolutely no sense, so why do that with our relationships?

It's not about kicking someone out or making someone suffer. It's not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance. It's solely about shifting focus and realizing that we are the ones now responsible of moving ourselves out of the equation. 

Of course, the process of refining and redefining your circle however naturally it occurs can at times be really painful. Just keep in mind that the pain and perhaps feeling of loneliness is always temporary. 

Make that space available for people who unlock your greatness, people you can commit to, love hard and who allow you to be the best and loveliest version of you. Ask yourself, do you have to be less to make it work, or is there room for you to grow? 

xo