First of all, queen, I see you.
Second of all, I don't think people tell you enough times how great of a job you are doing stepping up trying to do the work of two people and doing your best trying to raise your little babies to be healthy and feel loved. (Mom, I'm in awe of what an amazing job you've done with us girls and still do!)
I have a friend who is in the process of divorce and we've been chatting a lot about finding love as a single mama. How hard it is not only trying to find a guy who fits you (hard enough!) but also someone who is willing to welcome your little munchkins as part of his new family too.
Hearing her thoughts about the whole situation always make me a little sad. I mean, she's amazing. Whoever has the honor of standing by her side is a lucky guy, and her babies can seriously make you happy on your saddest day.
I bet it feels really hard, being a single momma thinking about if it's ever possible to find a healthy and beautiful relationship again with someone whom you can build & grow with, and someone who is also willing to raise your kids as his own. I can really only imagine.
Last night I read a part of Ryan Spear's "Young man, Rumble" and found this really beautiful part where I ended up thinking about my girlfriend and all you other queens out there raising our future. It is beautifully written and it reminded me of why I love writing and how big of a difference it does when someone dares to be transparent & vulnerable in an attempt to help and do good in this world.
I hope this excerpt from "Young Man Rumble" will infuse at least a little bit of hope when it comes to single mama love, when hopelessness is all you feel. Because hey, there's actually men out there who will adore all of the beauty & loveliness God created you to be and who will think that what you've been shown and told is a burden to many, will to them be a blessing and answered prayer.
"I've had talks with different guys about blending families. Some express how they don't want anything to do with a single mother. They have no interest in raising another man's child. They have the right to feel this way, it's their life. Everyone knows what they can and can not handle. For me, I had to handle it.
If it wasn't for my father loving, and marrying a single mother, and stepping up to the plate to raise her son in 1976, I would never been born ten years later. How could I possibly be scared away by the very action that made it possible for me to be here?"
- Ryan Spear (pg 108. "Young Man, Rumble")