My mother has during my whole upbringing continuously showed me & my sisters the joy & magic of being a mom, and still does.
The blessing of having a tiny extension of your own heart and love as a couple.
My mom always made sure to show us that we are the best thing to ever happen to her however tough we've had it economically and however much hard times our family has gone through. She never saw us as sleepless nights, as an end of something, as lack of freedom, as extra bills or tiny people who were soon to be angsty teenagers. That’s a really nice thing to be given as a kid. To know that you are seen as a blessing rather than an inconvenience or struggle.
Of course, she also taught me motherhood is hard. I’ve seen it, and I have yet to experience it. But still, however much struggle there was, she felt it was worth it. That motherhood is a privilege. That it’s something to look forward too. I’m not yet a mom, but that is enough for me to look forward to being one.
I always get a bit saddened or upset when people, especially those already having kids, talk about parenthood like it’s somewhat of a curse or a job that just has to be done. It makes me wonder why they even became parents in the first place. But then there’s these people who keep on making my heart flutter when I hear them talk about their babies. That they have given them purpose. That their hearts haven’t got enough space to fit all the feelings they have for their children.
I like long conversations about parenting and life as a mom. My best friend in High School and I loved talking about one day becoming parents. The deal was to in the future be pregnant and have babies at the same time, however, she beat me to it. A couple of weeks ago, she posted a photo of herself on her instagram with a caption saying something that reminded me of her admirable and sweet way of viewing motherhood, something she already had back when we spent our afternoons drinking tea & watching movies at her place; That when you’re exhausted, have absolutely no time for yourself, when you just feel like crying and nothing you do seem to make the baby happy, you have to remind yourself of what a miracle your baby is and how rich you are.
I’m over here like yass. She did it, and she is loving it with all her heart. She’s struggling at times. Not everything is easy. Definitely not. But it’s worth it, and I’m completely convinced that kind of positive thinking and gratefulness is what we also project on our kids and affect what they will grow up feeling like about themselves.
My friend Kaihla, who’s now expecting her and her husband's first babe, wrote this on her blog and I thought it was worth sharing:
"I think naturally my brain wanted to convince me otherwise; it wanted me to think about the costs associated with a baby, the time society says that it will take away from your “freedom”, the commitment and extreme lifestyle changes that some say we’re going to have to make.
My heart holds no space for the latter things.
I can lay in bed at night with my hands resting upon my belly and feel nothing but peace. Waves of peace, understanding, partnership, wholeness, eagerness, teachings, and love. No fear, nor overwhelm, or panic. Just peace.”
I don’t know, but sometimes I feel like being a mama bird has been part of my identity since always. How most my goals and plans for my own life fit so perfectly together with that role. Like Majoring in Motherhood has been out planned to be the time where life upgrades even further and that it always only been a question of time.
Being a parent might not be for everyone, but I sure know it’s for me. Because being a mama, is most definitely the best thing I’ll ever be.
(Photo by London Scout borrowed with permission)